A Series of Unfortunate Events

Funny thing: My paycheck is finally ready for pick up. Sadly they're closed on saturday/sunday (which is the only free time that have) I can get someone to pick it up but I'd need to do a letter of authorization and a valid ID (which incidentally was all in that wallet that I lost). What a conundrum. =P

One good thing: Tin is my only constant. I'm very lucky to have her with me.

Another funny thing: I swear I've been having a series of unfortunate events lately. First I lose my wallet (with all my identification and all my money) Now on the way to work earlier, the cab I took broke down not once, not twice but three times. It was sheer horror. I was looking at the steadily rising taxi meter and my watch at the same time (feeling something that resembles despair settling in my stomach).

On the bright side: I came to work 30 mins early despite everything plus the driver only made me pay half the fare. Cool deal but not something I'd want to do again.

Oh and I finally managed to find someone willing to buy my copy of Final Fantasy XI (much needed cash thank the lord)

If this is still some cosmic balancing act, I still got the better deal. I'm with someone I care very deeply for and I'm prepared to lose more just to be with her. (not that I'd want to mind you. I've already experienced quite a bit of trouble as it is)

There's nowhere to go but up. (slowly but surely)

The Here and Now


Life has a funny way of balancing things. The happiest moment of my life this year was when I got together with Tin. Then in one sudden change, I've been given one of the most trying times ever. I just lost my wallet in a cab (stupid me). It contained all my money. I kid you not, all my savings (not much since I was a bum for 3 weeks) gone in a flash. I'm now absolutely broke until I get paid in 30 days by my new company. What this means is that I can't even go to work since I have no money for transpo. (and I can't even be absent ever-one absence and it's hello termination)

Despite this, I still say it's all worth it (if this is a karmic thing trying to balance the good and the bad--I'd still say being with Tin is priceless.) I just got the sweetest letter from her yet. I'm overwhelmed. How can you love someone this much? To me she is perfect and my wasted heart will love her forever (apologies to Love Actually).

Updated my friendster picture btw.(this picture never fails to cheer me up--we just look soo damn happy and perfect together!) All I need to do to is take one look at it and I smile.

Lover's Concerto

It's all happening. I love these moments--you can just close your eyes, hold on tight to that special someone and simply enjoy the moment. I'm in love with Tin and everything is simply wonderful.

I'm mad about her. (who cares if I'm redundant or sappy or corny--I'm in love dammit!)

My head is spinning--will post more happy thoughts tomorrow ^_^

It's all happening!
Polexia Aphrodesia--Almost Famous


Yes ---you can tell that I really like this movie hahahaha.

Pleasant Surprises

Someone recently called me a pleasant surprise. This is actually a good thing. It gives me hope and a small measure of comfort. It means that whatever I'm doing now isn't all that bad. It means that even if she wasn't expecting it--she's happy. I'm not normally like this (and my friends can vouch for that) but when I'm with her...everything changes.

I love it when she holds my hand.
I love it when she looks at me and just smiles without saying anything.
I love it when she just rests her head on my shoulders.
I love the way she laughs or giggles. (even if she won't/can't tell you why)
I love her quirks--both good and bad (not that there are any).
I love the moments we spend together--just us...no distractions no bothers.


I just love everything about her.

Yes, see me smitten. (and I wouldn't have it any other way^^)

It's a fool who looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart.
Ulyssess Everett McGill, O Brother Where Art Thou?

New Job, New Start


Will be at eastwood later for my job offer. I think I start on monday (march 29). I just hope (altho I really doubt this) that they have some sort of fixed schedule...I'd hate to be on a shifting sked (my day offs would change every week---icky). This means I will most likely miss out on future tourneys and whatnot.

I got a nice postcard (well sorta postcard) today ^_^. This really made my day hehe. I love it !^_^

Blue in Cebu---reminds me of that Amelie garden gnome hehe (Dont get me wrong here--its one of the nicest things I ever got)

Things are going well. I'm happy. (did I say that already? hehe) Starting work on monday will also mean that this is my last week of freedom (bumhood). Must make the most of it! Live the moment. Soon I'll be back in another "soul destroying job" as one of my friends put it hehe.



Current Music: Spongecola (rak en roll!)

Storyline VTES, More job interviews and a partridge in a pear tree


I'm actually stumped on what deck to play for this upcoming storyline hehe. (not that it matters--even If I did decide on a deck to use/play--I somehow end up playing a totally different one on tourny day itself lol)
Yes I am fickle.

In other news: While waiting for the results on convergys, I got a call from another call center (E-Telecare)!
Just finished an initial interview and some basic IQ tests (Thank you for those locked room puzzles ^_^ hahaha---I breezed through those in just a few minutes lol) I was just thinking of applying for E-Telecare--
coincidence? hehe. All I need now is a call from Sykes---the call center where Pacoi and Cuppkeyk work for to complete the top 3 call centers around here haha. (actually I think E-telecare has a better offer--hmm)

Oh and I gave her the package yesterday---she seemed to like it (I wasnt there when she opened it---sayang--would have loved to see the look on her face ^_^)

Was a simple enough thing (I tend to cram things hehe--pls forgive the basic contents--it was the best I could do on such short notice) It contained: A book to read during alone moments (Bridge to Terabithia--a young adults novel that everyone has to read), a packet of tissues (She mentioned--and I figured--that she cries during weddings), Some of that wonderful jellybean candy for munching/travelling--and a Blue's Clues stuffy (was trying to look for a penguin since we saw 50 first dates but apparently its hard to find a penguin in this tropical country on such short notice) to keep her company in her hotel room.

I dont know if she packed everything with her (the thing looked kinda bulky as it is) but it's the thought that counts ^_^ (it was wrapped in a blue bandanna to give it that "traveller's pack" look hehe--you know those old cartoons where they wrapped all their stuff in a hanky and tied it to a stick, slinging it over the shoulders? hehe)


Current Music: Royal Tenenbaums OST (rather quirky music ^_^)

On the subject of first dates

I'm still slightly confused on how I managed to ask her out hehe. We had a dimsum dinner, watched 50 First Dates (how appropriate hehe) and dessert at Goodies and Sweets (Mochamisu--yum.)

It was a great evening. I can't believe how awkward I felt during the whole thing. We started out as friends so everything was comfortable. We've actually gone out before (with her siblings) so this wasn't anything new--just more...intimate. The subject of this being a friendly outing or whether this was a date came up and I'd have to say that this was indeed a date. I wanted to ask her out for some time now and I've only recently gathered up the courage to do so. I'm very glad I did. (especially when she agreed hehe)

She seemed open to the idea of seeing each other again in the future and that's very nice to know. I really like hanging out with her and I'm glad for any opportunity to do so. Everything feels right when I'm with her and I don't want to mess this up.

Am currently finishing some last minute touches on a gift right now. (She's going to Cebu for a wedding and I've thought of giving her a sort of "Cebu Survival Kit") Martha Stewart I am not.

Added a new link

Check out Brazen Skies! (my friend's live journal) He's a Tony Leung fan and a pretty demented poet. hehe.

Wow.


Gads I suck at this...I'm only glad that things turned out well enough ^_^.

Head and thoughts are still a bit jumbled. Will sort things out later hehe.

The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you're uncool.
--Lester Bangs, Almost Famous

Current Music: Coldplay

This sunday was a lot of fun...it started out with a nice dimsum lunch followed by a wacky night out with friends. Learned some new things about them as well hehe. Mongkok. Yum.

Visited Galleria for the first time in ages. I really love that place better than Megamall despite the lack of a decent bookstore. Less crowded, better interiors. Cool shops. Trendy and fun restos. An excellent alternative to podium with better movie selections.

Congo grill in el pueblo was also great. Very yummy tuna and pork sisig (I had my doubts about the tuna sisig but it was just fantastic!) Someone had way too many zombies and blowjobs haha. I swear we were the only noisy ones in the place. It was good to let some steam out and just have fun.

Job interview later...hope I do well since I'm almost broke haha.

Just watched Almost Famous. Again. hehe. This movie never fails to cheer me up ^_^ (not that I need cheering up right now haha)

From the Almost Famous OST: (I love this song!)

Tiny Dancer
---Elton John

Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man
Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand
And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand

Jesus freaks out in the street
Handing tickets out for God
Turning back she just laughs
The boulevard is not that bad

Piano man he makes his stand
In the auditorium
Looking on she sings the songs
The words she knows, the tune she hums

But oh how it feels so real
Lying here with no one near
Only you and you can't hear me
When I say softly, slowly

Hold me closer tiny dancer
Count the headlights on the highway
Lay me down in sheets of linen
you had a busy day today

Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man
Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand
And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand

Grabe. Galing. (the scene in the movie where they sing this is just fantastic)

The tragedy of this world is that no one is happy, whether stuck in a time of sorrow or of joy. The tragedy of this world is that everyone is alone. For a life of the past cannot be shared with the present. Each person who gets stuck in time gets stuck alone.

---Einstein's Dreams, Alan Lightman

Meditation


I just found out that some puzzles relax me. A friend showed me a link to some locked room puzzles and before I realized it (she actually pointed it out to me)---hours have passed without me noticing it! O_O

I think I'm getting pretty good at it hehe. Something to occupy my mind asides from the usual VTES deck building thing.

Relaxation and meditation.

Current mood: calm and tranquil.

Current mood: Mood Swings to the Max. (happy to sad to irritable to content to whatever)

Current Music: Heroes Compilation (Lennon Morrison Bowie Mc Cartney Dylan Jagger Joplin Clapton)


Sad title for a compilation cd but excellent selection of artists. I think I'll watch Almost Famous again tomorrow for the nth time. (If I ever manage to find the time). Perfect way to unwind with some really cool music from the 70s.

I feel content. I dont think this will last but its something ^_^

Haircut on monday maybe.

Job interview and movie definitely.

My Roadmap

more on the phases of my life: (as charted by people under the influences of...well-- several mind altering substances)

Depending on who you talk to (Dong or Pacoi) I am either on phase 2.5 or phase 3...(and yes...they do seem to be making this up as we go along). I've actually never even heard of a phase 2.5 until recently.
Whatever that may be--I'm ok now. Time to start saving up again. Time to move on. (and my how time flies!) I always talk about making some changes but I haven't really made any (except for some superficial ones --like wardrobe, hairstyle etc) nothing I'd consider meaningful anyways. It really takes a lot of guts to do anything significant these days (for me at least) especially if you've been doing the same things for some time now. I need a push or a shove sometimes just to get started.

Current Music: Singles soundtrack (alice in chains! pearl jam!--happy music hehe)

Marianne, you are the most beautiful girl in the world. You are my dream.
---Requiem for a Dream


Woke up with a smile. Thats rare. ^_^

There are just some times where you wish you never woke up.

I should have a small chat with my subconscious sometime soon.

The phases of a recently single man (according to Dong and Pacoi)

Phase 1: Mourning period

Amazingly enough I read about this in Mike Gayle's book--Mr. Commitment. The most appropriate length of time to grieve (especially if you've been in a long term relationship) ranges from
1 month to 3 months. This is where the wounds are still raw and you're still grieving over what you had.
In some cases you stop going to work or school and just stay home, locked up in your room crying. Your pillows are normally soaked in tears. Truly the worse stage in a breakup. Memories still continue to haunt you. What you had, what you lost--hours will pass before you notice that you've spent it all staring at the ceiling just remembering everything you once had. You feel like shit.

Phase 2: Healing

Somehow, after a period of depression, the heartbroken young man has found the mental and emotional
strength to move on. Old memories no longer turn him into a pile of blubbering manure. He has turned to friends or other social activities to help in his recovery. He starts going out again-- maybe just to see a movie with some friends or indulges in a night of drinking with his old college buddies. He's still sad but you can see a vast improvement since after the breakup. Maybe he throws himself in his work or studies--anything to pass the time and whatever it takes to make him forget the pain. The good part is you can actually talk about the experience with someone without being reduced to a ball of emotional goo. In time you'll want to seek closure (if it ended rather abruptly) or try to salvage whatever ties you had.

-----will post more on Phase 3 and 4 in a few days.
(these theories were developed after some nights of drinking and reminiscing on past experiences with Dong and Pacoi and should all be taken with a grain of salt since a lot of beer was consumed during those times)

I need a haircut!

Made some updates. --notice the new comments box? hehe (even if I did put them on the top of each new post rather than the usual position at the bottom) Anyways there are less than a dozen people who know this site anyways--I doubt if anyone will leave any messages.

In other news:

Its been almost 5 or 6 weeks since I cut my hair.(cathartic episode right there) wow. My how time flies. I need a new haircut. I think I'll get one next week....
I guess I'm brave enough to do it alone now hahaha (2 friends had to accompany me the last time since I
didn't know what to say to the hair stylist---they did all the negotiations for me)

Let me gather up some courage first haha.

Restless!

Can't seem to focus on anything today. My thoughts are chaotic. Hectic yet not really. Like an itch
in my mind.

I fell like a spastic 9 year old with a very short attention span.

*twitch twitch*

The muse has left the building


Wow. That sucked haha. No more poems. T_T

Happy Pessimist

Just answered a weird survey that had a question like: Are you a pessamist or an optimist? Are you happy with your current state? etc ---who ever heard of a happy pessimist? LOL

intermission: (poetry time)

Night Dance

A sliver of moonlight
enters
the room.
and lights
the farthest corner;
Illuminating
Dustmotes
which dance
and swirl
like Ballerinas.

I want!


I want to go out
I want to do something
I want to take a trip
I want to bungee
I want to fly
I want to take photos
I want a cool camera like a holga
I want to study film
I want to be happy
I want to vent
I want to watch a movie
I want to do something

existential angst sucks

If there's any kind of magic in this world, it must be in the attempt of understanding someone, sharing something. I know, it's almost impossible to succeed, but . . . who cares, really? The answer must be in the attempt.

--Before Sunrise, 1995


Just got a copy of this movie from my friend. I loved this the first time I saw it and I just had to get my own copy! ^^

Another chapter ends

Just had a talk with my ex-girlfriend recently. Closure at last. She's happy with her life, I'm busy with my own life. No regrets. Everyone happy. Wow.

Time for some change. ^_^

Well...that was easy...


Well--I was right this time. Easiest job interview I ever had. I definitely wowed them in less than 5 mins. (heck I spent more time waiting for the interviewer to arrive than the entire process!) I have a final interview on monday and then we'll see. I just realized that I now have almost 2 years worth of experience in the call center industry. That's either good or bad.

I'm distracted. I guess thats it.

Turmoil.

Today might be pretty momentous. Or not. I'm feel antsy. My thoughts are a bit muddled maybe because of a conversation I had last night (was reflecting on that til 1am). Job interviews can make you feel nervous but I think its something else because I'm not really bothered by the whole Job interview process at all.

I can't really organize my thoughts at the moment...I think I'll finish this entry after my interview.

Oh and I think I'll be on the lookout for a nice dress (My friend is attending a wedding and she needs one)

Lets hope the shopgirls wont look at me funny hahaha.

Stuff I found while looking for other stuff...

While looking for some old books for a friend, I chanced upon my copy of The Last Unicorn (one of my favorite books of all time). Grabe nostalgia.

here's an excerpt:

"Do you know what I am, butterfly?" the unicorn asked hopefully, and he replied, "Excellent well, you're a fishmonger. You're my everything, you are my sunshine, you are old and gray and full of sleep, you're my pickle-face, consumptive Mary Jane." He paused, fluttering his wings against the wind, and added conversationally, "Your name is a golden bell hung in my heart. I would break my body to pieces to call you once by your name."


-good stuff.

What's in the box?!

Got this from someone: So, say you were meeting a new person--blind date, new friend, who knows. And you wanted them to have some idea of what kind of person you are, and who you are. But you can't actually tell them in so many words. Instead, you have to give them a box, with a dozen things in it for them to look at/read/listen to/taste/whatever. What would you put in the box?

and yes I realize that my list exceeds the required 12 things (its more like 12 categories haha) but who cares.

1. Books: Haruki Murakami's South of the Border, West of the Sun and Norwegian Wood. Jonathan Carroll's Sleeping in Flame. The complete works of Edgar Allan Poe. and the first 3 books of Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles. Oh and the Dragonlance Chronicles I suppose.

2. Music: Dave Matthew's Crash Into Me album. Tori Amos's Little Earthquakes. 10,000 Maniac's Unplugged.
Les Miserables and 2 compilation cds:
cd #1 --(college era) Grunge rock and alternative stuff like Nirvana, Stone Temple Pilots, REM etc
cd #2--(mellow down period--this is when I realized I'm too old to listen to noise) Jazz and other not so noisy (sap) tunes like Marvin Gaye's Lets get it on (damn good stuff) Sting, Sarah McLachlan, Sinead O' Connor, Elvis Costello, New Age stuff like Isgaard etc

3. A bottle of Cool Waters

4. My Cat. (or cat puke or cat fur hahaha)

5. Double Dutch ice cream

6. Tradepaperback of Neil Gaiman's sandman--the stand alone issues.

7. An MRT pre-paid card.

8. My hard drives. (lotsa interesting stuff there hahaha)

9. A pair of comfy sandals.

10. A lifestyle network magazine on Interior Decorating and Cooking

11. My UP ID.

12. DVDs of Fellini's 8 1/2. Fight Club. American Beauty.Chungking Express. My Sassy Girl. Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail (!) Ranma 1/2. Neon Genesis Evangelion. Miyazaki stuff.

13. VTES cards and some RPG rulebooks.

There. Waaay too many books cds and films but that's essentially who I am. A total geek and most of the times proud of that fact hahaha.

I just realized how nerdy I am. o_o

Pirates! Redux


I've scheduled my new job interview for this wednesday, 1 pm. Its in salcedo vllage. Gah.
Here's the answer I get when I asked my friend (who works in makati) how to get there: Take a cab.

pootah.

Listining to: Jack Kerouac. Yeah. Groovy.

Spring rolls and scooters


I have this sudden insane craving for spring rolls. I blame Iron Wok Jan (manga about cooking).
Went out last night in a feeble attempt to buy some. Ended up at the ministop instead. haha.
Do I easily fall for subliminals? Am I susceptible to suggestions? Never really thought about that one.

Just finished Scooter Girl ( a limited series by Oni Press). Fantastic last issue.

Great advice: We're all too chickenshit to take a chance on getting hurt. It could always go to hell sure...but we have to at least try.

You'll never know which way things will go if you spend your life with your head in the sand.

That's no way to live, is it?

A lighter shade of Pale


I know now that I definitely prefer pale pilsens over San Mig Light. Light beer tastes like watered down piss!
You really need that full bodied flavour to appreciate beer. Had a fun night out with friends. The first social activity started at the Podium where I had to meet some old officemates over dinner. Had lots of fun joking around and exchanging occasional gossip. We went to my house afterwards for some beers. Had fun talking about the usual stuff guys in thier mid 20s talk about.

Someone bought this gin cooler thing that tasted like kerosene. God that was awful. Kerosene with an after taste of lemons. Moral of the story: Never buy any Gin based drink for less than thirty bucks. Stick with Gilbey's if thats your thing.

I'm turning into a stereo typical bum. Carouse and drink the night away. Trust me this rarely happens.

Ah yes, those good old halcyon days of college. =P

Mike Gayle we hate you.

Its Just a Phase

Quarter life crisis? Currently reading Mr. Commitment and yet again I can see parts of myself in the main character. A slacker with dreams (yet working in a soul destroying job) coming from a long term relationship.
Listening to Sarah McLachlan's new album wasn't helping. Melancholy sets in easier these days. I'm rather glad that I have some free time this month, I can now catch up on some stuff I've been putting on hold since last year (mainly reorganizing my entire room).

On a lighter note, I was dragged along to watch a play in Ateneo (same friend that dragged me to that documentary a few weeks back). Apparently I was in need of some culture haha. Nice play--would have been better (most of the actors had some problems with the delivery of the lines, sound system was a little bit off --there was an audible feedback in the early parts) but still very decent all things considered. It shows what you can do with a 1 set play (it all took place in a new york apartment).

Went out to dinner at Quatre (or Katre--not sure about the spelling not that it matters). Now that was fantastic. Excellent interiors, decent prices, and really great food. I had lamb, someone had fish (mahi mahi), we sampled each other's dishes and it was simply yummy. A very good resto to take someone out for a date or for something cozy and intimate. Its somewhere near Morato and definitely one of the best resto discoveries this year. (Thank you for introducing me to that place--I'll definitely be coming back)

Dinner and a show! Almost a date lol.

I need to go out more.

Life Changing Event # 1 for 2004 (minor)

Today I handed in my resignation effective almost immediately. Was it a spur of the moment thing?
Maybe. Everyone in my batch was quitting. And thus I am now back to being a bum. At least I have free time now. Convergys must be psychic. They were calling me up all day last week.

Guess I'll apply there (will take a short 1 month vacation--just good enough for league play)

Main reason: It was getting to me. (any call center line of work will eventually get to me) Stress and other factors (shifting skeds, more demands from management) just added up.

There goes my new pair of glasses. >_< (should have gotten that before resigning! doh)

Ah time to finish all my book/video backlogs! Time for the Great Vtes Re-organization!

Days of Whine and Neuroses


Someone lent me a new book to read and it is just freaky. Here's a sample passage taken from My Legendary Girlfriend:

(on the subject of 26 year olds): The male variety, of which I consider myself to be a prime specimen, tend to whinge a lot about receding hairlines, loss of physique,life,work,love-life(or lack of love in their life) while constantly harking back to some golden age, usually their university days.

That just described (partly) me and most of my friends. Freaky.

Had another interesting conversation (through YM actually) about love and friendship. (mostly love) I swear the best way to find out stuff about someone is simply to ask them some interesting questions. I should make a list...I always forget my questions when I'm talking to someone. Learned something new today : C.S. Lewis's 4 Categories of Love (from his book The Four Loves) Intriguing stuff.

I refuse to accept that we're all just a bunch of whiny neurotic kids worried about inane things like receding hairlines and whatnot.

Maybe I should go to a hairspa though....(*checks hairline*)

Eiga Sai!

Cant believe I almost missed my favorite Japanese Film Festival (free entrance at the UP Film Center) Apparently it's a bit of an eclectic mix this year with Kurosawa's Sanjuro as the opening film. I'll try to see if I can catch a showing sometime this week (they changed my schedule at work again--am back to 11pm-8am) Discovered a nice link today (its the official site for an art house film venue like the much lamented Inka and that other one by Khvan right across the street)

I'll have to check that out later.

Gads I dont think I'll get some sleep until I remember the name of that artist hangout across Inka...Lets see...all I get are hazy memories--first tast of subzero--funky black lights in the frickin bathroom making the toilet paper and other white underwear GLOW...unavoidable cigarette smoke from chain smokin poets mumbling their latest creations...poetry readings galore. I really have to dig up the name =P

better stop rambling.

Something's Gotta Give...

Had a pretty eventful day! (its always like this on Oscar day ^_^)
Sofia didnt win the best director award I was hoping for...neither did Bill Murray get his category. Oh well, there will be other great movies.

My Anarchs deck worked well (who would have thought hehe)

Had an interesting late lunch with a friend (I hesitate to call her a close friend--must "cultivate" that one first ^_^) We basically talked about lots of stuff over some really...erm...horrible food. (sounds like the good old college days haha) It was enlightening to say the least. I dont think I helped her much but I was always curious to find out how/what/why she is the way she is. (We were born on the same day same year--twins etc)
We are amazingly alike when it comes to certain things. Catharsis seems to be the over used word for the month.


Went online as soon as I went home and no less than 3 people were talking to me using 3 different instant messengers lol

Things will be picking up soon. Dong and the gang (yeah a gang of...2?)
will be coming over thursday (I dont know what for--guy talk most likely)

Oh and I woke up to my supervisor calling me on my celfone. Apparently they changed my schedule (I'm now 11pm to 8am instead of the usual 2 am to 11 am)

I have had...barely 4 hours of sleep. yum.

Just an average Oscar day. ^_^

Currently listening to : Dido (Life for Rent album) -->Damn good stuff.